Saturday, January 5, 2008

A Perturbing and Perpetual Pastoral Problem

If people were like cars, my job would be a lot easier. I could fix what was broken, tighten what was loose, or replace what was busted. But they're not; they're exceedingly complicated. If you've been alive more than 30 seconds, you know what I mean; I don't need to give any examples.

Having said that, I need your thoughts. How do you help someone who has made a bed that's incredibly uncomfortable to sleep in and complains about it? I'm talking about the person who knowingly marries someone with serious issues and is shocked to discover life isn't daises and picket fences, had a child with someone to whom they're not married and complains that life is difficult, or some such scenario. What do you do?

Telling them they got their comeuppance is tempting, but not wise. Artfully applying law and gospel is not the answer I'm looking for even if it is the right answer (that's too simple). I know how to apply law and gospel, but at some point I don't know what else to do. Sin breaks things.

The unfortunate and uncomfortable truth is that people don't deal with their original sin - the sinful marriage, the sinful fornication, the sinful divorce, etc. Perhaps the answer I'm looking for is repentance (a practice I'm increasingly learning to appreciate and see the desperate need for in my own life), but how does a person repent from a sinful marriage, being an illegitimate parent, divorcing when they shouldn't have, etc.?

Do I need to tell people, "You need to repent for marrying your spouse?" What does that look like?

I can see telling someone to repent for parenting a child outside of marriage, but what does that look like? The same with divorce, but what does that look like?

I guess what I'm asking is, how do I help people deal with the root of their sin and not just the consequences?

Does anyone else struggle with this?

Acts 3:19 comes to mind; any other suggestions?

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